Here's A Detailed Look At What Goes On Inside A Procrastinators Head

Procrastination: When one can accomplish a task in 1/10th of the time given - sometimes it's great, sometimes it's half-assed and occasionally it doesn't get done at all

rofessional Procrastinator here. I tend to do my work at the same time every day - right at the last minute. While this habit has served me well in some cases; when the panic sets in and I have a stroke of ingenuity simultaneously ... it has also ended poorly more times than I can count. Even knowing this, the procrastination pattern remains. Forever leading me to hours of stupid cat videos on YouTube, Pinning clothes I can't afford and reorganizing my desk drawers.
I don't know how not to procrastinate, I've been doing it my whole life. While I cannot find a solution, I do find solace in knowing you're probably a procrastinator too - likely reading this instead of tending the important things you're responsible for. It's okay, you're not alone... I took 5 snack breaks, looked up movie times, texted 3 different people, and stalked someone I don't know on Instagram all while I was supposed to be writing this.
These illustrations don't really help solve the problem - but they make me feel not so alone.
In an effort to better understand us procrastinators, take a look at a non-procrastinator's thought process:
Now, for a look at the procrastinator's thought process:
The difference here is that I apparently share my head space with an unruly animal that I'm incapable of caring for.
When a procrastinator has the whole day ahead of them to get work done, this is what happens:
The "Instant Gratification Monkey" should never be in charge of decisions, yet he takes control from the "Rational Decision Maker" time and time again. He directs the path of the procrastinator - ignoring all lessons from the past and thinking solely of the satisfaction to be had in the present moment.
The problem is that these beings should never coexist in one's brain. They're from different planets; they don't speak the same language and it makes working together impossible. With the monkey at the wheel, the procrastinator takes a back seat as he is steered into what's called the 'Dark Playground'. In this playground, leisure activities take place where they have no business happening. The Dark Playground may be fun while you're there, but the leisure time is undeserved and therefore leaves the procrastinator with feelings of guilt, disappointment, and frustration.
The Dark Playground:
Are you wondering how procrastinators ever get anything done?
Things only get done when this guy comes out to play:
"The Panic Monster" doesn't always make an appearance though. He generally only shows up when there's a lot on the line - graduation, presenting in front of your peers, trying not to get fired, etc. The guy is lazy if you ask me... only doing his job under the threat of public humiliation or disappointing others?
However lazy, he's the only thing that scares the damn monkey
By some miracle, the presence of this monster not only makes the monkey disappear, it also kicks the Rational Decision Maker's ass into high gear. This allows for more to be done in a short time frame than was accomplished in the entire previous week.
Be it a work deadline, losing weight for a vacation, writing an essay the night before it's due, cleaning the house for guests, writing thank-you notes, or decluttering drawers - the Panic Monster will help you get it done.
Unfortunately for some procrastinators, the Panic Monster doesn't scare them or, in a fit of despair, they disappear with the monkey. In these cases, they bomb their essays, never send thank-yous, have far too many "junk drawers", miss deadlines, and avoid the pool on vacation. This outcome is quite miserable.
Just so all of you non-procrastinators know, we don't enjoy the company of the monkey... he often leaves us with feelings of regret and disappointed. With the hope of not feeling this way again, I have resolved to work on my procrastination problem... just you wait and see.
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